A perfect conversation comes down to how well you enunciate your thoughts or ideas using the best of words and expressions. However, at times, despite the best of your intensions, you fail to create a bond with people owing to wrong choice of words, bad timing and in general a bad verbal habit. It is imperative for us all to put across our thoughts clearly.
Your life is all about workplace and your personal arena and to be smart in both the lives, you need to have proper conversational habits. Failing to do so, can impact your relationships, performance and your persona that you maintain at both the ends. Here are 5 most irksome conversational mistakes that people commit and some ways to fix them. Also, if you have ever got a feedback for your own shortcomings in this context, then this could be a road map for you:
Bad at Listening
Do you ever find yourself in a state of anxiousness in an official meeting or a get together? So much that all you find yourself doing is waiting for your turn to speak? Our lives are full of simple and easy going things and to our bad, we unnecessarily make them complicated. Listening is one of the simplest things. Paying attention to what the other person is saying is a sign of a patient and a composed mind. If you are not synonymous to it then you are the bad end. Tagged as the most annoying conversation mistake, a bad listener inadvertently spoils a talk that has the potential to be interactive. Moreover, if you are bad at listening to others then you unfortunately make the person who is actually trying to bond with you feel ignored and secluded. Eradicating the habit and correcting the mistake can take time but the try is worth it.
The Best Fix: Practice Yoga or meditation to calm down your mind and clear distractions. If you find your inner self trying to push you to speak in between or taint a communication channel by putting your words first, then shut down the voice immediately. Also, don’t come down to a conclusion and blurt out your ideas without knowing the complete concern. Hold yourself tight and listen to the other party with patience.
When You Don’t Inhale Air
This is another most annoying communication mistake. Well, this goes out for people with specific speech patterns, *excluding biological issues like stammering*. There are people who laugh more while talking or talk too fast or tend to eat up few words, which reflect their own casual approach towards building up a flowing communication channel. Somehow, these people don’t come up for air and as a result deliver only half the information. If you relate to any of these patterns then without any doubt, you are a machine gun for your audience. You would be shocked to know that people find such communication habits disturbing and they might end up shutting down their minds and ears for you. Oblivious to the fact, you would ultimately lose the people who look forward to build up a bond.
The Best Fix: Just relax! Nobody is in hurry. While conversing with anyone, make sure you are not talking fast or mixing up emotions with words; laugh more, speak less. You can crack a joke and give people some time to sink into it so that both of you can enjoy the moment. Also, remember the other person is investing his time in you therefore, make sure you make the best out of it.
You might not realize this as a shortcoming but believe it, people find it damn annoying. If you talk over people or jump in between with your own point, then you have to hold on. Not rude, but if you unpredictably cut people off then you must stop doing this immediately. You perceive it as a thought of saying something exciting or interesting that aims to reinforce the conversation. However, people find it annoying because they hate the idea of you butting in all the times. This is purely in your mind; you are so much involved in your thoughts and caught up in your own ideas that you unconsciously ignore what other people under the same roof saying. This is a bad habit and also very hard to break. The situation can go red in exasperation and you would end up letting people seethe, ‘let me finish!’.
The Best Fix: It’s a bad habit and you might face a lot problems cracking this up. So, at the first place, if you interrupt anyone next time, just halt and apologize for being rude. You can also ask your folks to point out every time you unknowingly butt into someone’s repartee. Have faith, you can snap out of it.
Meaningless Utterances & Fillers
If you don’t know an answer or if you usually take longer to mould sentences then it would best if you take think and then rephrase. You would find surprising but the usual utterances and fillers like Ummm… er…’it’s like’, ‘literally’ annoys the crap out of people. Counted as one of the most common conversation mistakes, fillers and problematic utterances are never appreciated, especially when you are using a particular word incorrectly. For instance, literally means basic state of a word, conversation or thing; however, people use it like, “I literally don’t know about the book”, which is actually a wrong word usage. People use this word to lay a strong emphasis on the fact, which is out and out wrong. On the other hand, ummsss and errrss are annoying and not even counted in communication best practices, rather it bespeaks lack of confidence.
The Best Fix: If you are in a bit of fix on how to start off a conversation or answering a tough query, it’s better to begin this way, “I liked the question and it is very interesting….”, rather than, “ummm the question is good butt…”. Also, instead of fillers, you can simply smile and pass on the topic to someone else gently and within the boundaries of mannerisms.
Communication is the way of life; be it your home or office, therefore, you have to make smart moves all the time. You can avoid conversation mistakes by consistently working upon them and following some of the way outs mentioned here.